Nobody Wants to Be Lonely
by Butterfly Cobra
Summary: Sirius and Bellatrix were forced to go through many things that were not entirely their fault. Sometimes, it is possible to escape the horrors of the present, for however short a time and recapture what was lost from the past. Oneshot, mild incest.


I am trying to portray Bellatrix as a human, before she became insanely evil. I feel that there was a reason she felt she couldn't follow Sirius or her sister's examples, or that she was too far down a path to turn around and find a new one. I really want to believe that she did have feelings and cared for others, at least at some point, before she was turned into a ruthless murderer. Sirius and Bellatrix are the same age and fresh out of Hogwarts. Bellatrix isn't a death eater quite yet. Title and lyrics from Nobody Wants to be Lonely by Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera.

* * *

_There you are, in a darkened room_

_And you're all alone, looking out the window_

_Your heart is cold and lost the will to love_

_Like a broken arrow_

_Here I stand in the shadows_

_Can't you see that_

_Nobody wants to be lonely_

_Nobody wants to cry_

_Time is precious and it's slipping away_

_And I've been waiting for you all of my life_

_Nobody wants to be lonely_

_So why, why don't you let me love you?_

* * *

For as long as he could remember, Bellatrix had been his partner in crime. It was always Sirius and Bellatrix; wherever one was, the other was sure to be close behind. Things changed when they entered Hogwarts and were sorted into different houses, but every holiday or vacation, things didn't appear to change in the slightest. That is, until the summer before sixth year.

Bellatrix watched as his hand turned the silver door handle. She would not do it, she would stay strong. She could not lower herself to beg him to stay. He walked through the open door, and she bit her bottom lip so hard that she broke the skin and it began to bleed. Her feet felt rooted to the floor, and her legs would not respond. She heard his footsteps travel down the hallway, and her resolve shattered. She flew past the door and cried after him.

"Sirius!"

He turned and dropped his bags as she ran into his arms, clinging to him as she began to cry hysterically.

"Don't go, please don't go. Don't do this, Siri, please," she begged.

He buried his face in her hair and held her close. Her fingers were clutching his cloak so tightly they had begun to hurt, but she didn't let go. God, he smelt _good._ She couldn't put her finger on it, but it was masculine and made her feel safe and was entirely Sirius. She never wanted to leave his warm embrace.

He pulled back a bit and wiped at the tears that had dampened her cheeks. His grey eyes were so intense, she had to close her own, afraid of what might happen if she continues to look into their stormy depths.

"Don't go," she repeated, disgusted by the sound of her pathetic voice, but unable to stop the words from tumbling out.

He bent his head dand softly kissed her red lips and she didn't stop him or pull away.

"You know I will always love you, Bella," he muttered a millimeter from her lips. "Take this." He pulled a chain out from under his robes, and pulled the necklace over his head.

She gasped. He had worn the necklace everyday for nearly ten years. It was his most prized possession. He slipped the silver chain past her dark curls, and she reached up to delicately touch the pendent. His hand closed around her smaller one, his fingers gently brushing the back of her hand.

"Wear this next to your heart and I will never leave your side, I promise. I have to go, and you have to know it is killing me inside. But I never quite fit in with this life the way you did. Bella, I love you amore than life itself, and I hope you never forget that."

Her big eyes met his. "I love you too, Siri, and I could never forget you."

"Don't let them destroy you, Bella. You are too strong for them to touch, much stronger than I will ever be. Fight everyday against becoming what they are trying to turn you into, fight like hell."

She nodded, and he leaned down to kiss her again. They poured everything into that one kiss, unsure when, if ever, they would meet again. He stroked her cheek one last time before gathering his bags and turning to leave.

"Goodbye my love."

* * *

They had always been drawn to one another. Not long after graduation, he found her again, or, in truth, sought her out before the different sides of the war claimed them both. She was sitting in the corner of her room in the huge mansion, her knees drawn to her chest, black curls disheveled, hanging around her face.

Her dark eyes met his grey ones, and she didn't look surprised to see him standing before her. He moved to sit down in front of her, effectively trapping her in the corner, but she made no objection or motion to escape.

"Siri, I feel so cold, so dead," she whispered to him, sounding so lost, he couldn't help but feel pity for her.

He brushed her raven hair, so similar to his own, from her face. For the briefest of moments, he wondered what would have happened if he had never left home and Voldemort wasn't in the picture. He and Bella were well suited, and certainly had felt more than cousinly love towards each other in the past. Would they have gotten married, or had a family? Could there have been a happily ever after in the cards for them? He felt a sadness overtake him as he realized that it was too late for things to work out well for their future.

"When did you get so lost, Bella?" He asked softly.

"I don't know, Siri. I can't find myself anywhere."

Bellatrix leaned forward, trembling slightly, capturing Sirius' lips in her own. He deepened the kiss, gently probing her mouth with his tongue.

"Bella," he said quietly when they broke apart.

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, and he thought about how fast they had been forced to grow up. He could remember the same eyes filled with tears when she had fallen off her toy broomstick when she was five. Now, his seventeen year old cousin was in over her head in adult matters, and he was shocked at the glimpse of the teen she truly wanted to remain.

"Help me feel alive, Siri, please. One more time, show me what love is," she begged.

Sirius stared at the girl that had been brainwashed by their family, the girl whose heart he had broken two years ago, the girl who was engaged to a man she felt nothing for, the girl who had been seduced by power, the girl who had most likely murdered an innocent person, and he came to a realization. She had wanted out, she really hadn't wanted to become the person she was, and he could have stopped it, if only he hadn't run. And now Voldemort was entirely responsible for messing up the world, their world, and pulling her into a vortex of hate and fear.

"Bella, I will always love you," he told her before kissing her again.

Her hands tangled in his hair and he pulled her into his lap. They went slowly, as if they had all of the time in the world, savoring each kiss, each caress as if it would be their last. He pulled the fitted, dark-blue robes from her body as they moved towards the bed. He laid her down gently, and then undressed himself, leaving his robes in a pile on the floor next to hers.

His cousin really was beautiful, and she always had been. Climbing on top of her slowly, he ran a tan hand along her milky white flesh. She shivered, and it struck him that the girl beneath him used sex as a bargain tool to get whatever she wanted, he had found that out the hard way, and this was probably the first time that she would actually make love for no gain other than pleasure.

They finished together, crying out each other name, breathless with ecstasy. As they came down from their high, he rolled them over and held her slender body to his muscular chest.

"Bella," he murmured, while a hand rubbed circles up and down her spine.

"Shhh." She hushed him and placed a finger to his lips. She rested her head against his should and neck, and felt his pulse slow.

It was not long at all before they were fast asleep, ignoring the fear and anguish the dawn would bring with the reminder of reality, simply calm with the knowledge that tonight had been the best night of their lives. For once, they had loved, and had been loved, without a thought of the rest of the world.

* * *

Review, let me know what you thought.


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